I don’t know if it helped today, it was all I had left. It was go for a run or go to bed at 5pm. After a long run last night, there were no guarantees as to how this would feel. But in some ways I knew it would help somehow. Today had nothing to do with training, noting to do with exercise. I was out there because I needed to run, I wanted to run. It was all I could think of to try to clear my mind. As predicted it was a fairly ugly run, but when compared to how terribly wrong the rest of my day had been it was a great run. No pain, just completely exhausted legs, but I found after about a mile my brain calmed down. For the first time in what seemed like hours my heart wasn’t pounding. I was able to focus on the conversations around me. My breathing was calm. I felt the sun on my face, the feel of the air on my hands, the unevenness of the ridge in the bike lane through the soles of my sneakers. When I took a left up Elmgrove for my last mile I was alone. The music went on and it was loud, real loud. For the next 10 minutes there was no thought, I was just moving forward. Not fast and my form was likely a mess but I was going. So I did it, calmed myself down, I feel better. I will run tomorrow and I will continue to feel better.
Miles trained today: 3.5
Days till the Old Sandwich Road Race: 20
Harvard Pilgrim 10K: 48
Beach 2 Beacon 10K: 82
Chicago Marathon: 146