Thursday, October 16, 2014
I can't remember the last time I was alone. Really alone. No husband. No kids. Maybe never, at least not in the last 3+ years. And it happened. They all left town, leaving me with 24 hours to fill. It was during this time that I recognized that I have a real problem. And no, it's not my addiction to olive bread. All I did was workout. After getting rid of my small companions I went off for a run. I'll admit to a few moments of hesitation but figured I had nothing to loose. Hell a run without them is 92lbs lighter, it's bound to feel good! Living large in the child-free lane I ran down busy urban streets, jumping on and off the sidewalk never slowing to cross the road. I may have even run on the wrong side of the road! And I never once had to stop to help open a snack bag. Once that was said and done I went home and enjoyed a shower with the door shut and allowed steam to fill the bathroom in a way it never does when the door is being constantly opened while my friend checks to make sure I know he's giving me privacy. Then it was off to the yoga studio. I told you, this is about my problem. I could have gone for drinks. To get my nails done. Shopping. For coffee. To the movies. The possibilities are endless and yet I went for double sessions. It gets worse. I went home and made plans for a 5:30am run. I know, I know. It's bad. But do you know what a pain in the ass a morning run is lately? Is the husband going to be home? Is he going to want to run, b/c only one of us can go early? Get out the door fast before someone wakes up, b/c once a kid is up you aren't getting out the door. After that I did go to work for a bit...mind you that was the only reason I was foot loose and fancy free. But it gets dark again. I had a break. A long break. Where did I spend it? At the coffee shop? Did I call and check on my pint-sized friends? No, I went straight to yoga. Yes, doubles again. By 3:30pm I was back at home in the chaos, explaining why dinner cannot just be olive bread and that skunks will not spray through his second story window into his train bed while he is sleeping. So 24 hours off and I can say that I used it wisely Made up for some lost workouts and remembered how nice it can be to be completely alone. Remind me of this in 2017 when it happens again.
Monday, October 13, 2014
Yoga is about more than your mat. Even if you think you are just there to sweat, you haven't realized it but there is more there. There is always more. I was triggered this weekend. I got pissed. Felt the urge to do what I'm good at. Shutting down an argument. Getting the last word. Proving my point. Holding that grudge. But wait, why am I there? To change. To realize this and let it go. We covered assisting this past weekend and it instantly clicked. First time in this entire expirience it felt right. So why? Why do I love this work that I will never get paid for in a studio? What is the draw. Look off my mat. Look at my life. My life is built on assisting others. It's what I do at home. It's my job. It's how I show my friends love. It's what makes me happy and feel useful. Don't ask for a hug, I'm still not a hugger. Assisting is not doing for. It's not fixing. It's providing support. Providing education. Providing encouragement. Providing love. It's support and then watching people fly.
Monday, October 6, 2014
I’ve been searching for the words to describe this past weekend and have given up. And I have no pictures to post that show it. It doesn’t matter in many ways because if you weren’t there you wouldn’t understand it. Not only has it deepened my personal practice but it showed me how much this group will mean to me going forward. There have been jokes about our yoga mama and our yoga family but joking aside these people mean something to me. We mean something to each other. I also realized, for certain, that I’m doing the right thing with this training. I’m in the right place. With the right people. At the end of our weekend Baron read this poem and it struck me. Really struck me.
We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are. After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation,or when we retire. The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with...and remember that time waits for no one. So, stop waiting --until your car or home is paid off --until you get a new car or home --until your kids leave the house --until you go back to school --until you lose ten pounds --until you gain ten pounds --until you finish school --until you get a divorce --until you get married --until you have kids --until you retire --until summer --until spring --until winter --until fall --until you die There is no better time than RIGHT NOW to be happy. Happiness is a JOURNEY, not a destination. So -- work like you don't need money, Love like you've never been hurt, And dance like no one's watching. Author unknown
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Big breath in and let it out. Reach up. Fold. Halfway lift. Fold. Arms all the way up. Hands to heart. Breathe. Over and over til my shoulders ache and creak. How's the yoga stuff going? You like it? Questions I struggle to anwser, so give a brief and enthusiastic yes. Time away from my family means time at the studio with strangers who are quickly starting to feel like family. High highs and fierce anasana's accompanied with nerves and fears of unknown and not knowing. There is no control. Get used to it. Be comfortable. Let it all go. Describe it, I can't. I'm doing it. Working at it. Breathing through it.
Monday, September 8, 2014
I am not sure where to begin. Overwhelming is certainly true in all aspects - physically I was pushed close to my limits, we hit a point where I stopped counting hours of practice b/c I couldn't keep it straight. A little Real Worldish - 20 yogi's placed in a room and we'll see what happens when people stop being polite. Information. So much information. My brain hurt as much as my abs by the end. Emotionally it was tough - I'm rarely away from my family for longer than a handful of hours and never for days in a row, I learned very quickly that they are my life force and when I'm away for days at a time it hurts. Guilt. Lots of it. Shit comes up on your mat. It just does and it did this weekend. Use the breath. Ego checked hard when I struggled with student teaching. Loving acceptance and instant forgiveness. It's all a learning curve. Powerful - Oh man, hitting my own unexpected walls. Watching others hit and overcome their walls. Amazing, simply amazing. Arm balances. Holding crow for 3 breaths for the first time. Ever. Attempting other crazy shit and laughing when we fell. Pride. We were all there. Starting something real together. Achieving something together. Dirty - 21 hours in a hot yoga studio with 20 other yogi's. Enough said. I can see how this experience has the potential to be transformative. I can also see where I'll be tested. 1 down, 7 to go.
Friday, September 5, 2014
Teacher training starts in a little under 4 hours. Am I ready? Not quite but given this is the first nap for my 3 year old in months I'm allowed to goof off a little rather than deal with the mountain of chores I should tackle including packing a bag. This blog has covered everything from running to tri training to pregnancy to motherhood and god only knows what else. For the next 15 weeks I expect it - and most other aspects of my life - to revolve around yoga. 9 of the next 15 weekends will be spent in the studio in training. I'll share my experiences and thoughts along the way. I'll admit to some butterflies going in, I'm not sure what to expect. Not sure what we'll be doing, who I'll be doing it with and what the final product will feel like. Doesn't help that the list with what to bring included pain relievers!!! I need this though, in so many ways. Time away from my life, my phone, diapers...all of it. Nap time is ending so that's all for now. I'll keep you posted along the way! Ran for an hour this morning
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
So my knee hurts. Not sure why, haven't changed much or amped anything up. Lets compare today's reaction to maybe 5 years ago with no kids. 5 years ago: I would have likely already taken a week or so off of running. Likely would be hitting the spin bike hard. Would have already arranged for PT eval and would have signed up for every other day sessions for the next 6 weeks. My entire list of running friends would have been consulted for their diagnosis. Coaches would have been emailed, maybe even a podiatry appt scheduled to have my inserts tweaked. Today: I've ignored it for the last week. Keep toying with taking time off but since running is not only by stress reliever but also my main form of socialization I keep going out. Today I actually thought about taking a spin class and realized that I can't do that with my crew of little one's so packed up and headed out for a run with the beast. No time for PT, nor am I interested in the co-pays that would accompany those sessions. Haven't texted about it, my phone is full of babysitting related messages. As I type I have a frozen cookie monster boo-boo buddy on it and this would be the first time I've iced it. What's my plan you ask? I'll probably keep running til it gets worse or goes away. Oddly enough it doesn't hurt during or immediately after, so who knows. I thought about blaming aging but then I remembered that I'm only 29 as my son insisted that I was really in my 50's. Ran 3 miles today
Friday, August 22, 2014
Blog? Oh that's right, once upon a time I blogged with a bit more regularity. My excuse? There is the baby who is up like clockwork at 5:30am, really 4:30 but I refuse to go in that early. I lay there and pretend to sleep until she threatens to wake up the boy then I scoot as fast as possible to scoop her up and silence the alarm. Then there is the boy. Oh the boy. Lets just say that nursery school starts in 2 weeks and it can't come soon enough. I love him, I really do, but we need some space...time to miss each other. Joking aside, life is a whirlwind. I can't tell you if I'm coming or going. Every week starts and I wonder how we will survive and then before I know it we are celebrating suriving yet another week. My sense is this is life now and we just have to get used to it. Running? Yes, I'm running. It varies week to week, no training plan but I aim for 3 week day runs and usually hit them all with distances in the 4-6 mile range. Add to that a weekend "long run" which has been anything btw 5-7 miles. I should go longer but need beach season to end. Um, also we are owed a round of applause. Not only am I runing with pretty good regularity but Joe is getting out there as well. Yes, you read it right...2 kids and we are both running! Difficult feat but we are pleased with some small tangible baby steps. What's that? When am I going to come up with a training plan for that spring marathon I keep hinting about? Patience please, I need to get in a few 10 milers before I feel like I can commit. Yoga is going strong, 3ish classes a week. 2 weeks before that training takes over my life and I think I'm underestimating the impact it will have. Ignorance is bliss right? Ran 3.5 miles today
Sunday, August 3, 2014
I'm gearing up for my 200 hour teacher training program at Wayland Square Power Yoga. I feel like this has been something on the to do list for a number of years and the fact that it's finally going to come to fruition is a little wild. There have been any number of reasons why I didn't do it sooner and the story as to how I ended up with this program is one for another day. Regardless, here I sit with a month to go and a world of doubts. I mean really, I signed up for a program that requires my total attention 8 full weekends over 14 weeks while trying to manage 2 small kids?? We are the definition of a hot mess at our house, all of us! So then why am I doing this? For the last year and a half I've been introducing yoga to kids and love it. This certification will allow me to continue with this work and also expand to working adults and older adolescents. Going in and introducing kids who have never experienced yoga and watching it click for them is something else. Listening to them tell me that they taught their parents and siblings the breathing exercises is really what this is all about. Seeing kids develop a healthy sense of self and grow in confidence week to week gives me a sense of fulfillment that is hard to find elsewhere in the professional world. Most importantly I'm at a crazy time in my own life. I need yoga now more than ever, the quiet, the focus, the clarity, all of it. So I can't do handstand and my sandskrit pronunciation is laughable at best but yoga is about expanding personal boundaries and testing limits so here goes nothing.
Sunday, July 27, 2014
Fail on my part, Save the Bay was over a week ago now and I've been absent. No worries! It was amazing, great event. One that is already penciled in for a repeat performance next year. So it's hard to recap a swim event, unlike running once you get swimming things zone out. Morning of was nothing but laughs, ball busting, and photo-ops with friends. No nerves, just smiles all around. I knew I had put in the work, joking aside there was no question that the day would go without issue. Hardest part was at start of swim trying to hook up with my trusty kayaker. Once we found each other, or lets be honest she found me (I had given up and was ready to bandit with someone else's kayak) I just started to swim. The water was like glass, easy breezy. Yes there were jellies, yes there were other creepie-crawlies and they only made me swim faster. I started to get cranky about 3/4 of the way through and thankfully that's when Melissa started to get more excited. With running you get cranky and slow your pace maybe walk a bit, with this I would sputter a bit and just keep swimming. Nothing else was going to get me out of there. Official time was 1:11:03, just 1 minute over my estimated time. Forgot my garmin, but a friend clocked in at 1.9 miles so who knows how far I actually went. This might go down in the books as an annual event. I've been a bit bummed ever since finishing, it was one of those events where I really loved not only the lead up to but the day itself. So what is next? Too be honest I'm not sure. Had toyed around with a spring marathon but not sure I want to go there just yet. I'm running 3-4 times a week and never more than 6 and having a good time with it. I've been accepted to a yoga teacher training program and that starts in Sept!!! Every time I think about this I get excited and queasy all at once, it's going to be wild! I have to get my personal practice in gear, both at home and in the studio. So far doing well with 2-3 classes a week, the home practice is a work in progress. More on the yoga in another post, I have a lot to say and am still formulating it all. I don't know if I can do that and marathon training, at least not without Joe threatening to leave me. And I will sheepishly admit to not swimming a stroke since Save the Bay, ah well, happens to the best of us! 1 hour of yoga today
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
It's crunch time, a week and a half before I risk my life going across the bay in nothing but a wet suit. Nevermind the 399 other swimmers, my personal kayaker, and coastguard support. And yes, there is a god damned whale somewhere in the bay, just waiting to eat me. The pressure is on to get more comfortable in the open water. We hit up the pond last week and things went ok. Minor panic attack in the beginning but settled in. Not smooth enough that I could call it and stay in the pool, so this morning we headed back out to the pond. We had a newbie with us, who needed some reassurance. Did I complain about pond scum? What about the snapping turtles the size of my table with biting teeth and a taste for toes? Water snakes anyone? Nope. "An open water swim is good for the soul, easiest mile of your life." I lied through my friggin teeth. Misery loves company! So 5:30 rolled around and we quickly found ourselves on the beach. After some minor hesitation we headed off. No panic this time, I might as well embrace it. Soon the sun started to come up over the trees and it truly was beautiful. Peaceful. Newbie swam back and was amazed at how nice it was. She was right. It was quiet. You could get lost in your thoughts, zone out. Struggles with a sick kid faded away; stress about work and sleep deprivation all forgotten. We hit the first dock in no time at all and ventured out for the far buoy. Wrapped things up back on the beach, 1.5 miles in total. A needed dose of peacefulness before hitting the chaos that is my current life. Swam 1.5 miles
Friday, June 27, 2014
To give you a taste of my current life, here's a run down of how today's run went. Planned start time of 9:30 in Bristol. 4 hours of sleep total and not straight lead to what can only be described as a very bad morning. 8:40 I begin to panic because there is no way I'm going to get everyone out of the house in time when my phone buzzes and my friend is going to be late. Start time pushed to 10. Spend the next 30 minutes getting my son to poop, my daughter in a clean diaper, do breakfast dishes, move laundry around and pack 15 snacks for the run. Yes, 15, my son is a diva. Finally make it into the car and to Bristol right on time. While we are waiting for my partner in crime to show up my son crawls up and down rocks by the water. Several times I'm sure this activity is going to end with a split chin but no blood actually happens. Partner in crime shows up about a half hour late, during which I realize that the sunscreen is at home and it's 85 degrees out and full sun. Great. It then takes us a good 10 minutes to get 3 kids locked and loaded and run to commence. Just when we get the kinks out and everyone, including the 80lb dog, is running in stride my daughter begins to wail. I try to ignore her in hopes that she'll suck her thumb, my son tries to tell her to stop crying and she only gets louder. We hit the turn around and then find a bench where I can nurse her. Lets not discuss that I have on 2 of my tightest fitting sports bras. Commence 20 minute intermission in the 4 mile run that is going to last all day. After the intermission everyone is happy, except the dog, he doesn't want to run anymore. Next 2 miles features my son begging to get out of the stroller and dog slowing to a walk. Finally 2 moms, 3 kids and 1 dog roll to a stop at the end of the bike path. Just a regular run between friends, and our kids. Ran 4 miles today.
Thursday, June 26, 2014
My working out has been totally derailed by the angry 4 month old who lives in our house. My compounded lack of sleep is becoming a major problem. I have no laughter in me around this subject and if one more god damned person sees her in public and comments on how happy she looks I might punch them. I told you, we have a major problem. That combined with the fact that my do.everything.with.mom.pal has relocated, it's been a rough week or so. I'm out there but missing some gumption. Nothing to do but get out and run. Finally last night the terror from upstairs took some pity on me and kept quiet most of the night. What do you do when your baby is still snoozing at 5am? That's right, you get out of bed and hit the pool for 5:30. Thank god for friends who are excited to get that "let's go, I'll be there" text. It's Thursday so the Mom Posse was missing but we got it done, torn swim cap and all. All my moaning about no sleep, I will say this, I'm feeling strong in the water. Less than a month to go for Save the Bay and I'm not too nervous. That day I'll be signing a different tune. This morning was strong, warm up, some kicking which could have gone on all day while we discussed dresses and then 100 pull/100 swim x5. I think my pal thought we were done after that and there was a brief moment where we thought about a cool down but instead went for 5 fast 50's to get the sweat factor up there. It was just what I needed. It's so easy to skip a morning workout and go later but there is nothing like that feeling after a hard am session. I'd love to say that I'll be there again tomorrow but I have no hope. Swam for 45 mins today
Monday, June 16, 2014
Almost a month since my last post...sorry about that. Often I thought about posting but then you know how it goes. Regardless, I may not be blogging much but I'm on the workout train. Where to begin? Running? Yep, and it's feeling good. Have been attending track on Wednesday nights and have to say I've fallen back in love with track. It may have something do to with the fact that track gets me out of doing bedtime but the reasons don't matter. I almost came close to shelling out cash for a sitter so I could go this week but had no luck. Times on the track are good, 8 min pace for most everything and ending every workout with the last set closer to 7:30. Unlike the past where I'd go out too fast and then suck wind, I've found the sweet spot and am just enjoying it. Overall mileage is a bit all over the place. Good weeks I'm close to 20, other weeks closer to 10. At some point I need to get a bit more serious about distance but for now this works. Having trouble committing to any races, I think this is a reflection of the state of my life. Our home life has reached a level of chaos that I have trouble putting into words so to add a training plan to that would likely be futile. Swimming? 2 times a week with my Mom Posse. New recruits are joining weekly including a Dad and friend with no kids, might need to rename our group. I should go back to open water swims, even once a week would be helpful but just as I should get more serious about adding distance to my runs, I'm in no rush here. Overall feeling strong in the water, most workouts are around 2000 yards. I continue to hate circle swimming, although spend most mornings sharing a lane with at least 2 sometimes 3 others. Ugh, the things I put up with in an effort to get out of the house and enjoy uninterrupted adult conversation. Yoga? Yes to that as well. TT will start in September so I'm feeling the pressure to get stronger/more confident with my practice. Also feeling like this needs to bump either the running or swimming and be more of a focus but struggling with how to make that happen. It's all about balance. So that's where I'm at. Life with 2 kids is wild. Swam for 45 mins today
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Alarm goes off at 5am, I jump from bed and settle in for an early morning pumping session. Manage to make it to the pool for a 5:30 start time. Half of my swimming crew is faster than me so when we circle swim it means that I basically swim continuously until it's time to end it. I'd complain, but we have less than 2 months before I'm to swim across the friggin bay so this was needed so I don't die during that event. Out of pool at 6:30 and home by 6:45. Chaos begins. Day includes building enormous train set, laundry, meals for both kids throughout the day, managing naps, trip to swimming lessons, laundry, play date with friend, picking up trains, realizing I forgot a meeting, managing tantrums from both children. Needless to say 5pm rolled around and I really considered not going to track. It's cold and windy and my people weren't going. Cue 3 year old tantrum...not first of the day either...I very quickly find my running stuff and load us into the car. Husband meets us at track, we do the social thing for a bit, he leaves with both kids (I silently cheer as they drive away) and workout begins. Wait. Another workout? Damn it. 3x1 mile with 4 minutes in between. Ready set go. 8:20, good but too fast considering the last one should be my fastest. 8:19 good but I'm really doubting that I can go faster. 8:10 total score and big props to Michelle who ran along side and pushed the pace with me for all 3 miles. No time to waste, husband has a board meeting at 7:30. Leave track at 6:30 arrive home 6:45 to baby screaming. Nurse baby and put baby to bed while husband argues with 3 year old about turning on his "poop machine". I can't make this stuff up folks. Kiss husband good bye and shove dinner down throat while kid finishes Thomas movie. Don't judge until you have multiple children. Brush teeth, change into PJ's, commence never ending bedtime saga. 8:11 all in bed and lets breath. House is a mess, lesson planning for tomorrow needs to happen, but here I sit blogging instead. And tomorrow it starts all over again. Swam 2000 yards Ran 4 miles Changed 37 diapers...not really but felt like it.
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
In many ways I feel like we are finding our way with this whole 2 kid thing. Everyone is sleeping, we are all still breathing and laughing most of the time. I feel physically like my body has recovered. Strength is returning and workouts are enjoyable. I'm almost ready to set some definitive distance goals for the fall and next spring. Feeling fairly confident that I won't drown in July going across the bay. Life is almost good. But then in other areas I feel like I'm barely treading water. After my son I felt like too much changed too quickly, I thought this time around I did things right to avoid that feeling. Wrong. Here I sit suddenly (at least for right now) a full time stay at home Mom. I'm not going to get into which role is harder, for me I'm best out of the house at least some of the time. I love what I do for work and and happy when at work part time. It'll get there, patience is the key and things are moving and shaking so I need to just hold tight for the time being. But that said being at home full time is hard. Very hard. I'm not great at it. Joe is traveling more and that sucks for all of us. People keep saying to us that we are in the thick of it. They are right. Life with a 3 month old and 3 year old is no joke. It will get easier, maybe not easier but more balanced. Maybe. In the meantime we are hanging in. It feels a lot like stumbling in a dark cave, I'm not quite sure what we are doing or if we are in the right direction. But I felt this way about my fitness and my body a month ago and am now feeling strong and back in control, so here's hoping the rest of life falls in line with the same ease. Swam 2000 yards Ran 5 mile track workout
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Once upon a time I would run track on Wednesday nights and then NEVER think about running the following Thursday. And then I had kids and realized that the jogger brought peace and quiet. An outdoor activity that doesn't involve me pushing a swing or pretending to be a train. So it really doesn't matter how tired the legs might be, a run gets everyone out the door and into fresh air. The break is provides is only 2nd to a nap, which sadly by the way is moving toward the extinct list in my house. Once upon a time I would insist that I could only run first thing in the morning and NEVER after eating. And then I made Mom friends and found that you get more company at 10:30am rather than 5:30am. Oh by the way, if running is your break in parenting then you are going to go when you are sick of parenting. My favorite times are now mid-morning and late afternoon. I don't care if I've consumed a foot long sub, everyone starts whining and we are hitting the pavement til it's quiet. Once upon a time I swore that the single jogger would be the end of me. Then I had 2 kids and realized that pushing 1 is nothing compared to 2. Today was lucky enough to only have 1 with me and it was heavenly. Ran 4 miles today
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
It's been 11 months since my last track workout, and I haven't missed it. There comes a point though, where you run out of excuses and have to return. Just as a surefire way to get me out the door in the morning is to pump, I'm a sure bet at track when both kids are melting down. You want me to run 1200, 2x800 and 3x600 fast enough where I consider puking and it means I don't have to deal with dinner or bed? Sure, need me to run it twice?! Joking aside it wasn't as terrible as I anticipated. Ran within myself, not having any real clue where I would be coming off 11 months of no speed work. In the end I'm happy I went, saw many old familiar faces and got in some laughs. If my legs didn't hurt I'd walk across the room and download the Garmin data and break it down. But the legs are sore and I've already poured my wine. Laps were consistently between 2:05 and 2:10 and I was fairly right on throughout the whole workout. I'll take it. Tomorrow will be an easy 3-4 miles with the kiddo's making this the highest mileage week to date! I don't do a lot of quoting of the kid on the blog but have to share that he honestly thought that Meb would be at the track and is demanding a Meb shirt. Adorable, I know. It's what keeps him alive at this point. Ran 4.5 miles today.
Friday, May 2, 2014
I have found a sure fire way to ensure that morning workouts happen, I just have to make it to the pump. As long as I pump I'm going to workout regardless of who is there. I don't care about the weather, how terrible I might feel, how tired I am, how comfy by bed is or any other excuse that typically keeps me in bed. In the past I have been known to get completely ready for a workout, get in my car and change my mind and go back to bed. Totally unreliable, but thankfully there are few people who will agree to 5:30am workouts so the workout invites keep on coming. Once I pump I am completely useless to my household. Breastfeeding mothers are the original food truck. Once the food is gone, no one cares where the truck goes to restock. Today for instance, I had just finished pumping and both workout buddies cancelled, no problem. I was still in the pool by 5:34am (a new record by the way). A half hour in I got a little lazy and thought about skipping the last few sets, then I saw the time. Only slightly past 6, the baby would be looking for a meal and I have nothing to offer. All the motivation I needed to just keep on swimming. Swam 2500y Ran 3.2 miles
Thursday, May 1, 2014
It didn't start out bad, and I'm not sure I can pinpoint where I lost control. Lets just say the day ended with a lot of poop, an exploding toilet and the husband leaving work early after a very pathetic phone call from home. All I wanted was to melt under the bed and forget today ever happened. Too bad it was only 4pm and both kids were wide awake. So what do we do? Hit the pavement. We loaded up and started to run. My son spent some time trying to negotiate ending the run almost as soon as we started, "you look tired Momma, lets go back to the car". Once that approach didn't work, he sprinkled the road with goldfish. And I wonder why we have to buy the extra large $8.99 container every week. At least we'd easily be able to retrace our steps. Just as I hoped, with every step I could feel my body relaxing. I was able to laugh at my son and forget about the power struggles that almost did us in earlier in the day. I was serenaded by the ABC's sung at the top of his lungs and received some interesting looks from other's on the Blvd. Little do they know it's all about preventing the meltdown and if screaming the ABC's at the top of his lungs while turned around facing me in the jogger means we get to go a little further...by all means sing away my friend. 4 miles passed relatively quickly and I had one more hill between us and the car. A perfect time to let him loose and avoid the hill. We spent the next quarter of a mile running side by side. He was Speedy Spencer and the babe and I played the role of Thomas and we chuffed right along pretending to be on the island of Sodor where toilets don't explode and Mom's don't seriously consider running away. Ran 4 miles today.
Sunday, April 27, 2014
If you haven't figured it out yet, commitment is not our strongest skill set. Today had been penciled in as the Newport 10 Miler, in fact I believe we were responsible for at least 2 other registrations. The race never happened. I'll give it to Joe, he made a good faith effort in the training dept. Lets be real, an.8am.start.an.hour.away.with.2.kids.in.40.degree.weather.same.day.as.nieces.birthday.party is a terrible awful idea. So we settled on a local 5k instead. We settled on this Saturday night, again we are commitment-phobes lately. This was the first race post baby and I was feeling pretty bad ass about it. There was some debate about which parent was going to get stuck behind the beast. Joe was adamant that he would fall on the sword so I could run hard, I think he just didn't want to deal with my ego when I beat him with the beast. I haven't been training and runs have all been pretty slow up to this point so I had no idea what to expect. Oh, forgot to mention, this was a TINY race. Itty bitty, meaning there was a real chance we could claim last place. Gun goes off and away we go. Rumor was it was a flat course and thankfully this was true. I started to run and decided to just go hard and ignore the heart rate. Kept glimpsing at my garmin and noticed pace was in the 8:30's. Too fast but went with it. First mile was 8:51. As you can guess I slowed down and paid dearly for going out too hard. Two reasons I didn't slow to a walk: 1. Husband is behind me with both kids and the beast. If he passes me I cannot go home. 2. I'm running with a dad and what looks to be his 9 year old son. If the kid can do it so can I. Miles 2 and 3 were in the 9:20's. And I likely could have pushed a bit harder on mile 3 but at that point wasn't really thinking about much. Unofficial finish time was 28:53 a 9:11 pace. I'll take it with little complaints. If I can stay injury free this summer I think I can make a run at my 5k PR this fall. And as for this race, I'd totally run it again. Very cute community based race. Family and stroller friendly and pleasant enough course through quiet neighborhoods. Ran 5k today.
Saturday, April 19, 2014
Warning, this post is likely to read as very shallow and self absorbed. Just move on if you want, I won't be offended. As most new Mom's I hit the sweet spot where life is moving along, I'm preparing to my return to work and even though we are all sleeping, I still have a problem. My clothes don't fit. I'm a good 17lbs away from pre-baby weight and starting to get cranky about it. My wardrobe consists of leggings, sweat pants, 1 pair of jeans with a button and a pair of maternity jeans. My boobs are too big for most of my shirts and my hips are very wide. Nothing fits. All of that bitching aside, I'm working out as hard as can be tolerated. My diet is rich with real whole foods and is primarily based in grains, veggies, and beans. We are only 10 weeks out so there is plenty of time, but I'm sick and tired reading about these Mom's who loose the weight in 6 weeks or less. Cheers to you, I'm jealous. It's not going to happen over here, so I need to stop reading about your successes. It's not you, it's me. With my son at the same spot I had 35+lbs to loose so I'm ahead of the game. Getting on the scale daily or even weekly is not helping my cause. Because of breastfeeding the weight is coming off slowly. Nothing defeats me more than a week filled with strong workouts and good meals and then I step on the scale to see that nothing has changed or even worse I'm up a half lb from last week. And yes, I checked and my giant rack accounts for 6lbs of the additional weight and that was after a nursing session. Don't ask, it was a moment of desperation. Why do I let it get to me so much? So I'm taking a month off. No more weigh in's. I have enough to stress about like pooping on the potty, nap training, mastering the logistics of getting the double jogger in and out of my trunk with smashing my shin every.god.damned.time. I'm also becoming curious about heart rate training....more on that later. So goodbye old friend, I'll see you in a few weeks and here's hoping that you get on board and can be more supportive with your electronic feedback. Ran 5.3 miles today.
Friday, April 11, 2014
Saw the Chiropractor today and got the "all clear" on the running front! Totally psyched at this news and even more so that these visits have made a noticeable improvement in my level of discomfort. He wasn't stupid when he cleared me and included the lecture about not doing to much too soon. The goal is to strain the joint a bit and see how it holds up. Fine by me, any running is more than I had been doing. That and spring finally arrived in little Rhody so to be out in the fresh air is so nice after the never ending winter. In celebration I hit the Blvd with a friend and the babe's and we just ran. After comparing who got the most sleep the night before and whose husband is more annoying with not getting up at night we started to discuss real business. See, she's moving. Really moving, not like our false alarm last summer. I don't want to talk about it. Good running partners are hard to come by and good friends are even harder to find. So what do you do when your running partner is moving to the deep south? You find a marathon near her new house and plan a trip! Details are yet to be worked out, but we have the spring/summer to return to a respectable fitness base and fall will be the start of training. Now we've already established that I have the shit end of this stick as I'll be running solo in the nastiness that is winter in New England as she braves temps that likely won't go below 50. But that's ok, remotely we'll keep each other accountable and we'll both keep running and be forced to stay in touch! A win all around. Now I need to find a new partner. They need to be kid friendly as I often run with the beast, or bail at the last minute b/c someone (could be either of them) has been up all night. Ask her why she swam solo this morning. We have to match on pace both with the stroller and without. It helps that we are both finding our feet after having babies. Sarcasm is a must. She's nicer than me, as most of my friends are, so my new partner just has to be able to put up with me. Flexibility for timing of runs is required. Last minute flexibility is preferable, like can you run right now between dirty diapers, tantrums and feeding schedules?? If you know of anyone fitting this posting I'll be interviewing in June. Ran 3.2 miles today
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Those are my new numbers, the number of pounds I run behind with the double jogger. 85lbs of baby, toddler, stroller and car seat. This thing is a beast, barely fits in the back of my SUV and a bit like pushing a micro loft on wheels. Roomy and spacious for both kids, enough for each to sit without touching each other and yet the toddler was on his knees poking the baby in the face for most of the ride. "I don't want her to miss seeing the squirrels" was the excuse when I asked him to back away. Clearly allowing a baby to sleep is a foreign concept to an almost 3 year old, but we were running so almost anything was going to be allowed if it meant the run could continue. It's been just shy of a month since my last run so today was needed. (Don't ask, I haven't been cleared to return to running, this was a non-sanctioned event.) Life with 2 has been a challenge and not much of my life today looks or feels like my life with even just 1 kid never mind no kids. I'm at the point where I'm striving for normalcy, a routine, something to feel familiar. With all the miles the kid and I logged with our single jogger I could close my eyes for a moment and find a bit of that familiar feeling. Yes, I had to open goldfish, stop and pick up a train that went overboard and sing ABC's at the top of my lungs but we were out there. Before starting I had some apprehension, driving to the Blvd I started to talk myself out of it. Lets be honest, is anyone jazzed about pushing 85lbs on a run 8 weeks post partum? It was one of those things that I knew needed to get done. Check it off, first run with the beast complete. Move on. Next time it'll be easier, well not likely but you know we'll be out there over and over again. Won't be long til we find some speed and begin to pick of other runner's and mess with their self esteem. I can speak from experience, a little part of you wants to die when you are passed by a jogging stroller. It's time to re-establish a running base so I can move into training again. Training will give me something other than sleep schedules to obsess over. Ran 3 miles today.
Sunday, March 30, 2014
In the past I tried to update this blog on the days I got a workout in, that format is no longer sustainable. With 2 kids my free time is close to non-exsistant so blogging isn't as easy to get too. This post for instance, I've tried get done 3 different times this week with no success. Most interruptions involve poop, not mine, and laundry. At this point everything is touch and go in my life. Sleep remains elusive at best and as a result days are all over the place. Workouts are happening but not like before. Granted it's only been 7 weeks but I can't plan on getting a workout done. If we get a good nights sleep I'm able to get up and get something done. No sleep = no workout, it's just that simple, we are still in survival mode over here. I'm thankful for workout friends who understand and don't care. When I show up they cheer and when I miss they remind me that it's ok to sleep when we can and to hang in there. In my head I refer to them as my Mom Squad, last Monday most of us were at the pool at 5:30am, I counted 7 of us all with small kids back at home. It was hysterical, I can only imagine what the other swimmer's thought. Even more twisted is that we all found time to escape our families and we end up at the pool at an ungodly hour waiting for the gym to open. What can I say? They are a great group of ladies and are a phenomenal support system during these blurry days. For me it has always been about finding a group to get me thought these times. I still see and love the ladies from pre-natal yoga 3 years ago. I'm rambling now, lets get back to business. Here's what I accomplished, along with changing about 500 diapers: Monday - 2000 yard swim with the Mom Squad Wed - Fitness in the Park Friday - Fitness in the Park Sat - 2200 yard swim I hate to even say that I have goals for this week because it doesn't really matter what I want to do, clearly I have little say in what gets done. But that said in an ideal world I'd like to get in 3 swims and 3 Fitness in the Park classes. The weather looks nice enough to break in our monster of a double jogger, but who knows.
Friday, March 21, 2014
Hi, it's me. They haven't done me in yet; I assure you, they are trying. Throwing every curveball in their books at us, last night it was a tag team attempt and they took turns screaming at us from 1am-4am. The logical part of me knows that this will pass and we will sleep again. The delusional sleep deprived part of me wants to curl into a ball, waive the white flag and call it all as a bad idea. So here's the update, you were right. Too much too soon. I'm not superwoman and although felt great immediately post delivery I need to dial it back. The biggest concern in my pubic bone pain has returned and if this gets worse it leads down an ugly road I have no interest in. So no running, other activities as tolerated but listen to my body needs to be the motto. Also I need to make some dietary changes. Acupuncturist has recommended no dairy, no sugar, no gluten. As much as I hated to hear this and debated a bit with him this evening, he's yet to steer me wrong and we've been together several years now. I've cleaned up my eating in the past and even today do fairly well. My biggest crutch? Dairy free chocolate chips and goldfish. The hardest part in regards to eating with a toddler and infant is I don't have time to plan and execute. Shopping is a last.minute.oh.shit.the.cupboards.are.bare afterthought. Meals have been built around pasta. Why? It's quick and we will all eat it with the least amount of bickering. I also don't have time to eat during the day and then eat more than I should at dinner. Today my lunch taunted me across the room for a good 45 minutes while I dealt with the needs of an infant. Time to be more mindful, plan things out and prepare foods that I can grab and eat quickly. Good wake up calls all around. Once I figure out how to make this work on 5 hours of sleep and 2 kids to wrangle I'll share what has worked as well as what hasn't. Sean did reassure me that any improvements in diet are good and again perfection is not an obtainable goal. Also, the baby has started to smile which just makes it all a bit more tolerable. No workout today due to the 1-4am revolt that I lost. Plans for a swim tomorrow...fingers crossed.
Saturday, March 8, 2014
There are times you register for races and your pulse goes up and you have that "oh shit" moment after hitting submit during registration. I can recall all of the times this has happened: CVS 5k, my first race ever Newport marathon, 1st marathon Crabman Tri, 1st tri NYC marathon, it's NYC! Providence 70.3, 1st half ironman Run 4 Kerri, 1st race post baby It's not every race or event but when it happens it bring the excitement back to training and competing. It's easy to fall in a rut and forget how fun this can be. So in my sleep deprived delirium I decided to register for an event that has been on my bucket list for a number of years. The Save the Bay swim, 1.7 miles from Newport to Jamestown. Open water across the Bay, even thinking about it I get the jeebies. Open water swims stress me out and push me to the edge of my comfort zone. There is a lot that can go wrong: drowning, sharks, big fish with biting teeth, jelly fish, rogue waves, sea monsters...I could keep going but will stop before I have a full on panic attack. So why? Why not, you only live once and this is the year that I'll swim from Newport to Jamestown and will forever brag about it. I'll swim with friends and come out of the water to my cheering husband and 2 kids. Yipes, 2 kids! Even a month in I'm having a hard time realizing this is our new reality. Haven't quite figured out a training plan yet, it would be helpful if our newest family member would sleep a bit more but we'll get there. In the meantime I did escape this morning for another run. Things are slowly coming back and feeling less wonky, the key to this return to running will be patience and listening to my body. Good thing I have this swim to train for :) Ran 4.6 miles today
Saturday, March 1, 2014
It was a rough night, the kind of nights that life-with-infant war stories are made of. Mind you we are 3 weeks in, so in addition to little sleep last night there is the cumulative effect and it's starting to take a toll. The high is waning and the under eye bags appear to be semi-permanent. Needless to say this morning was just as ugly. The infant was STILL awake, the toddler was ready to party and Joe and I wanted to die. Joe took the toddler to the market and I sulked in front of a cup of coffee when my phone started to buzz. Were we interested in a playdate? Not really, clearly I wasn't fit for interacting with other humans given my mood. Then my friend dropped the bomb, let her know as she was planning on going for a run. Wait! A run? Outdoors? Solo? She's also living the dream with an infant and a toddler. Well that changed my outlook. Joe came home and I was flying around the house. We were headed out, him for a game of 4 on 2 with 2 toddlers and 2 infants vs. 2 Dad's and me for a real run. Outside, with my garmin and old worn out sneaks. And what a run it was. Forget that our pace was so slow I'm not publishing it here. Forget that my pelvis and hips felt like jello or that I needed to walk twice. We were outside and alone. It was a taste of old life and just what I needed. Recently I read a blog about surviving the first 3 months with a baby and advice from different bloggers. My 2 cents is you need good friends. Really good friends. Friends like ours. Friends who continue to show up with food, wine, coffee, and cookies. Friends who turn a blind eye to the mess in my house or the fact that I've lived in the same pair of sweats for weeks. Friends who keep assuring us that it's ok and we are doing great. Friends who don't care when I roll up to their office at noon with both kids and keep us entertained for 90 minutes even though it's clear they have work to do. Friends who meet me at coffee shops and keep my toddler relatively quiet while I struggle with nursing or a diaper change. Friends who listen without judging when I'm stressed and feel like this was all a bad idea. Friends who come at dinner time and hold a fussy newborn while we both get a chance to shovel hot food into our mouths. Friends who get me outside for a run when it's 30 degrees and I've slept less than 4 hours. Most of them don't read this, but I'm grateful for all of you. Thanks. Ran 4.6 miles today
Saturday, February 22, 2014
My run last week was a little much. Not sure if it was the run, labor and delivery recovery or sleep deprivation but it took several days for me to get over it. Additional problem might be my shoes that are getting close to the 1 year mark and have holes in them. Don't judge, what was the point of replacing them mid pregnancy when I would have just squished the sh*t out of them?? Needless to say I'm in no rush for another run, maybe later this week but not til I have new shoes. There was even talk of a May half marathon at breakfast...likely a lofty goal but one can dream. So I headed back to the yoga studio this morning. With my first pregnancy I was a pre-natal yoga freak but this time around I had a hard time finding a class that matched my schedule so it had been a while. For my local readers, I highly recommend Alison's class on Saturday morning's at Shri Studio in Pawtucket. Not only is it physically strenuous but emotionally fulfilling...not to mention filled with great music. Plenty of space for breath and stillness. It took 1 downward dog for me to instantly realize how much strength I've lost over the last several months. There was a moment of being slightly bummed and then I remembered why I took time off...the 2 week old baby at home....really time to get over myself and just be in the moment. As quick as those negative thoughts entered, I breathed through them and was able to clear my mind and just move. The flow came back with little effort and old muscles that have been in hiding started to stir. Things are definitely still loose and making their way back to a new state of normal. There were lots of modifications but it felt good. Today was the first day that both Joe and I were able to get in workouts, something we celebrated with a high five at lunch. It's these small steps towards normalcy that are keeping us sane in the midst of sleepless nights and early mornings. We aren't in the swing of things yet but moving in that direction. Completed 90 minutes of yoga today
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Baby girl arrived last Saturday and we are all healthy and happy. After a long week at home I decided for better or worse today was the day I would run again. The midwife discharged me with no restrictions, maybe not the smartest call on her part, and I've been feeling really good. Recovery this time has been worlds different than with my son. Physically and emotionally I'm in a better place. Going from 1 to 2 kids has been easier than 0 to 1, at least for us it has been. I was a little torn about going to the gym 8 days out, but again have been feeling good, why not try it. There was some definitive guilt when I walked out the front door and left Joe to fend for himself. Irrational mom thoughts about how I needed to be there even though everything was timed to match feeding and nap schedules. Then if I'm going to leave shouldn't I be productive and go to the market or run some important errand? I turned off the brain and headed for the gym. My workout was nothing special, 30 minutes on the treadmill. 1 mile run, 2 mins walk, 1 mile run, 2 mins walk and 5 mins of running while increasing the speed every 30 seconds. Things didn't feel great, but they could have certainly felt worse. It's been a long time since my last run and my joints reminded me of this. Everything is looser than I remember it feeling. But you know what, it's done. My first run post delivery is over. My first run as a Mom of 2 is in the books. It still blows my mind that we have 2 kids, seems like not long ago we were 2 love struck 18 year olds at summer camp. Here's to a new chapter filled with adventures, trials, successes, challenges and laughter. Ran 2.6 miles today
Friday, February 7, 2014
As previously stated, I'm over this. Ready to be done, pop this kid out already. Unfortunately, I have no say in when this is going to happen and have spent the last week dealing with false starts. I've stopped speaking to family and have snapped at most friends. My husband and son are seeking alternative housing until this clears. I also stopped working out this week. 2 fold reasoning here, give me a minute. My swimming buddy took off to FLA and I'm a great morning workout buddy but it's a hell of a lot harder to get up at 5:30 and go at it solo. That and most nights I was up trying to decide if I was actually in labor or not. I'm annoyed, this isn't my first rodeo...I should know when it's go time. I don't think these false starts happened with my son and I'm not talking about mild discomfort. I'm talking about real.deal.holy.shit.I.forgot.how.much.this.hurts.don't.touch.me.it's.all.your.fault kind of pain. Yeah, it's been a fun week. Finally this morning I had enough, no more excuses. Rather than stop making plans and waiting for baby I've started to fill my schedule with activities. I've tried the no plan bit with no success so now I'm booking out. Searched out a swim friend and set the alarm for 5:30. Off I went, wondering the whole time what it would be like if my water broke in the pool. No go. I type this now from my kitchen where I'm pacing with what I can only believe are more fake out pains. I really don't want to go to the gym tomorrow, so how about you make an appearance baby? Swam for 1 hour
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Time to address the questions I've been getting about being a veg-head. 1. Are you a vegan? Nope, I am a sucker for goldfish and can't break up with them. That and although the majority of my meals are dairy free, I do eat cheese from time to time. It's rare but fondue on New Year's Eve, yep and I don't regret it. I do eat a lot of non dairy cheese, I'm a fan of Daiya for cheese and tofutti for cream cheese or sour cream. At this point almost all my baking is vegan and I've figured out how to make close to all reciepes vegan. This is a HUGE help with the kid who loves to cook and loves even more to lick the bowl. By eliminating eggs from my baking I've yet to tell him no when he's wanted to lick the bowl or spoon. 2. Do Joe or the kid eat meat? Joe is his own person and makes his own decisions. He eats meat occasionally, never at home mostly when he's out with work. The kid eats what we eat so he eats very little meat, again none at home. When he's had it out, he (like most toddlers) isn't a huge fan. His doc knows that we don't eat meat and hasn't raised any concerns about it. The kid does do more dairy than I do, we have had to limit it somewhat due to some digestive issues. Sometimes I feel bad, like when he thinks that tofu is cheese, but he can hate me later. 3. But you're pregnant?!? And? I've not changed a thing regarding my diet with this pregnancy and would be willing to venture that it's been a healthier experience. The first time around I was up 60-65lbs, this time I'm up 36-38 so far. I don't feel bad when I'm stuffing my face with fruits and veggies, yes I'll have seconds. No I haven't had a heart to heart with my OB about how I eat but she hasn't asked and I'm healthy with lab values all within normal limits. 4. What do you eat? Most anything, I'll try anything once. The key for me has been to focus on eating a variety of foods, veggies, fruits, nuts, beans, lentils, grains. I try to make sure that every week has different food sources. I don't stress about if I'm getting enough protein, do some research and you'll see that we need less than you think. I also don't stress about different vitamins and minerals, again if you do the research you will see that with a strong diet that includes much variety you are fine. I'm not a nutritionist, but both Joe and I have met with one as we've made these changes to make sure that all bases are covered. And we've also discussed with the nutritionist what the kid needs and how to best meet those needs. 5. Why? All I have to say is do some research on factory farming. Not just what happens in meat and dairy production but all large farming initiatives. It's gross, not natural, and not safe. I try to eat local, we belong to a CSA, are regulars at our farmer's market. I try to buy in season. I try to buy whole foods and grains, rather than processed products. Again, not perfect but I make an effort every day to be mindful and aware of what my family is eating and where it came from. 1 hour of Fitness in The Park....still no labor :(
Saturday, January 25, 2014
I'm giving up the fight. I will accept the following: 1. I will be pregnant until March, hell maybe April. 2. I will never sleep more than 3 hours a night or 4 hours in a 24 hour period. 3. The 35lb weight gain recommendation is total BS. 4. The construction paper traffic lights hung on my kitchen walls are permanent decorations. Yes, it's bad. This is what not sleeping does to you. Although It's much more enjoyable to just accept it. Rather than tossing and turning, I've kept myself entertained with Netflix, cleaning and am now blogging with the pleasant aroma of pumpkin muffins baking away in my oven. The gym opens in T-35 mins so I'm headed there next. Yesterday I hit up the pool for a morning swim. I'm having an issue obtaining new contacts so can't see the clock so am unsure where my 50's landed for time, but at this point does it really matter? I had been struggling with some pain in my left shoulder that I was quietly concerned about but that seems to have resolved itself. I have to be honest, the idea of an injury sidelining my main source of workout and socialization was totally bumming me out. This happened last time, I'm thinking it's a result of overuse and poor form. So that said I'm not swimming back to back days and trying to be mindful of what my arms are doing when I'm in the water. We also hit up Fitness in the Park yesterday and although I had hoped to induce labor with some mountain climbers, I only succeeded in wearing out any muscle not associated with swimming. The bigger issue there is that I'm running out of clothing options, Joe's shirts aren't cutting it. Time to have this baby, quit working out, or find a husband who wears a XXL. Today I'm going to hit the elliptical and see if that gets anything moving and shaking. You'd think these workouts would help to combat this insomnia but no luck there. I keep threatening to try for a run but I'm thinking the size of my rack combined with poor bladder control is a recipe for disaster. Also, please pray that the kid's fever and belly ache last night were passing sxs last night and not a sign of what is to come on my weekend off!
Thursday, January 23, 2014
If it wasn't for all the medals hung throughout my house, I would argue that today felt like I've never done a cardio workout in my life. For the first time in months I hopped on the elliptical and thought I was going to die. It's all an effort to send a message to this kid that it's days are numbered and I'm ready to spend some time with an empty abdominal cavity. We are close. My freezer is FULL of frozen meals I've been stock piling since late summer. Furniture has been purchased and delivered. Construction (well outside of the never ending DIY home office) is complete. Weird areas of my house are clean. Hear all that #2?!?! It's time to make your grand appearance, get out of my belly! So in an effort to continue to make things uncomfortable for this kid I hauled myself to the gym after a terrible 4 hours of broken sleep and climbed onto an elliptical machine. It took all of 2 minutes for me to miss the pool and the weightlessness I've taken for granted during those workouts. Stuck with it though and got in a solid 35 minutes at what likely appeared to others at a leisurely pace but to me felt like an all out sprint. Pool and Fitness in the Park tomorrow and I'll be back on the elliptical this weekend. That is unless I'm at the hospital :) Wishful thinking, I know, but gotta stay positive here.
Monday, January 20, 2014
I've hit the "maybe today" point. Yes it's early, but all signs point to things moving and shaking. I've had 2 providers now tell me, we don't know when...but soon...definitely before your due date. Man, for their sake....they better be right. The funny thing is when I think labor might be imminent I begin to freak about not being ready, it's not a good time, never mind this was all a bad idea. When things pass and I realize my body is just f*cking with me, I'm pissed that it's not time and lets get this done. I'm not sleeping, and not like before, like really not sleeping. Totally uncomfortable and often in a fair amount of discomfort. Clothes don't fit, almost called out of work due to not having any maternity shirts that fit. Oh and the best part, my god damn feet are puffy. It's gross. We aren't ready at home, but getting closer. So nothing left to do but wait and see. I did get my ass out of bed this am for a morning swim, even after 3ish hours of piss poor sleep. Cramping and contractions during my swim so I had some hope that this might be my last pre-baby workout, but I'm sitting in a coffee shop blogging (should be working, ah the joys of self employment) so no suck luck. That said, this was my best round of 50's yet. All under a minute and strong. So who knows, but I'm planning on 2 more swims and 2 fitness in the park classes this week. Swam for 45 mins today.
Saturday, January 18, 2014
Still here, still swimming and still knocked up. Haven't posted for who knows what reason, I think the mad dash to get things ready at home is a major contributing factor. Doc and accupuncturist both agree (which for the record they never do) that this kiddo isn't going to wait til Feb so time for the procrastination to end. That said there have been several late nights where I've been up with contractions in a panic that I still don't have a bag packed but then the morning comes and I forget to pack. Denial, it's all about denial. So what am I doing for workouts? Swimming 3 days a week, I've mentally committed to the Save the Bay swim this July, 1.7 miles Newport to Jamestown across the bay. It's going to be crazy, but I have friends on board so bring it. The swimming is good, distance varies from a mile to a mile and a half. Still getting the 50's in for some fast stuff and I'm happy to report that I've been able to get them down to under a minute. Makes me excited for what these times will look like when my lungs can fully expand. I do know that after my first pregnancy I got much faster on the roads so I'd like to see these same kind of results this time around both on the road and in the pool. This week we were on a tour of pre-schools so didn't make it to Fitness in the Park, planning on hitting that back up for 2 workouts this week. I'm finding that I need to do alot of adjustments to get through this class. Anything that involves jumping is out, unless I want to be jumping in a puddle of pee. I'm also finding myself short of breath very quickly, chalk that up to lack of space for the both of us. That said I do feel a benefit from trying in that something is better than nothing and the kid enjoys going. I keep saying that I'm going to hop on the ellipitical on the days I don't swim but can't seem to tear myself out of bed and although I'd love to be one of those women who can brag about running right up until delivery date that is just not in the cards for me. I can almost taste my post-natal runs but I'm not there yet.
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
You know it's a bad sign when you roll up to the gym before 6am and the parking lot is basically full. It's an even worse sign when you walk towards the locker room and can see a little bit of the pool and it's full of chop and white caps. I'm all for people finding their motivation and deciding to workout, but please don't mess with the rest of us who have been getting up at the ass crack of dawn for god knows how long and have a routine planned. We don't deviate based on the weather and were here years ago and will continue to be here long after you have lost your motivation and have restarted the love affair with your snooze button. Go away. Find one of those fancy gyms where people don't really go to workout. Better yet buy some really nice expensive equipment and use it twice and then have it collect dust in your bedroom or basement. You can join us once you've been doing it solo for 3 months, then we'll welcome you with open arms. Maybe even engage in some light hearted banter in the locker room or between intervals. If you insist on showing up then park on the street, spots in the lot should be earned not given. And when one of the regulars shows up get out of our way. Get off our treadmill, spin bike or out of our lap lane and watch while we school you on how this is done. Can you tell I'm hormonal and overtired? PS - it's because of the stupid resolutioners that I had to circle swim and we all know how much I love that at 6am. Swam for 45 mins today
Saturday, January 4, 2014
Happy New Year! It's time for some goal setting, a bit funny seeing as how I type this from a chair with my laptop pushed so far out to make room for the baby gut that it's almost hard to type. We were out and about today and talking about fitness goals and I have plenty I want to accomplish in 015, but to get there I have to get through 2014. I'm going into this year with some low expectations for running. If you know me personally you know that my motto is that going in with low expectations almost always ends with being pleasantly surprised. First and foremost I need to get this kid out of my belly. We have anywhere from 4-7 weeks to go, of course I'm banking on 4 or less and I don't want to hear crap about how 40 weeks means fully cooked. I'm done, get it out. New babies mean no sleep and an infant and a toddler mean total insanity but I miss big glasses of wine, pants with buttons and being able to tie my shoes without huffing and puffing. Lets get this done. After surviving labor and delivery there will be a period of recovery. After the kid I ran about 3 weeks out, who knows when my first run/workout will be after deuce but it'll happen and will likely hurt but also be totally energizing. Getting back on the running train will require that I master the beast AKA: the double jogger. It's huge and intimidating and heavy and no joke and I will make it my bitch. When people ask what are the baby accessories I couldn't live without my BOB is at the top of the list so the double BOB will be right there. Thankfully I have a great support system of friends who will run right along side us and I'm ready. 2014 will include some races. Not sure what will be first but I'm guessing a spring 5k. The kid was born in June and my first "race" was in August, so if we follow that same time frame I'm looking for an April/May debut. I'd like to also return to the tri world. No 70.3's in my plan book for this year but maybe cranberry tri fest, that's always been a fav of mine. And we'll wrap it up with a fall half marathon, currently thinking one on the Cape but we'll figure out that detail as it approaches. And yes, I want that half to be a sub 2 hour. I know, I said low expectations but this 2 hour road block has been a thorn in my side for years. Even with a swollen pregnant gut I know I should be able to grind this out in the fall. My fitness base remains at an all time high so no excuses. I've also been missing yoga and hope to complete a 200 hour teacher training program. I teach at a shelter currently with kids but am ready to expand and do some work with adults. I love love love the idea of making yoga accessible to populations who aren't going to go to the typical studio class. This may or may not interfere with the above half marathon goal but I'll figure out those details. This will take priority over the half for a number of reasons but I am hoping to be able to tackle both. Lastly I've become a pool rat lately and really enjoy it. I've mentioned before not wanting to abandon this post baby. Currently I'm in the pool 3-5 times a week. That will surely scale back some but keeping at least 1 morning a week would be nice. Too lofty? Maybe but if you don't have goals that are hard to reach, what's the point? Fitness was part of our lives before parenting, stayed front and center when we grew to a party of 3 and with one more addition I'm going to fight to keep it there. Swam 45 mins today.