An old friend

As I was scurrying off to my run this morning, I was looking around for my headphones and found my Garmin. It was at the bottom of the pit that sits between the front seats of my car. The bottom of the pit is usually a deathtrap for anything that gets stuck down there for too long. I'm not sure what makes it so sticky and gross in there but it's pretty nasty. I grabbed my Garmin without thinking much and turned it on as I pulled away from the house, never expecting it to work. Low and behold when I finally made it to The Edge the Garmin was on and working. Up till now I've been reluctant to time my runs, but off I went with it strapped to my wrist. It was helpful in terms of measuring my run and where to turn around. It was also somewhat helpful to see that I am indeed tragically slow. What I really needed it to do though was morph into a babysitter so that I could have run with Joe instead.

Miles run today: 3

The Duel

I've been challenged and am too stupid to pass on it. A friend has challenged me, although she tells the story differently, and I accepted. Very simple, a race around the track, looser buys drinks. There is almost nothing I love more than some friendly competition, I can turn almost anything in to a bet or a race so this is just what I need. The rules are simple. The duel will be scheduled in 12 weeks from this week. I figure that gives me 6 weeks to forget about pregnancy and another 6 weeks to really figure out how to win. It also gives my challenger 12 weeks to get injured (not that I'm wishing injury on any of my fellow runners but I'll take any advantage I can at this point). The duel will happen on a track, distance will be 1 mile. I feel more confident about my ability to kill her on a track than the road. She often reads this blog so I can't share why I feel I have an advantage on the track, you are going to have to trust me. To be honest I would have been happy with a shorter distance but Joe was there and piped in his 2 cents and that's where the mile came from. So now what? Now we wait. Wait for her to get cocky and forget about this, I'll take her over confidence and use it to my advantage. Wait for my speed to return, I just laughed as I typed this. Not to worry more details will come....

Miles run today: not sure exactly, short warm up followed by 6x800 = 3.5ish

PS - I secretly timed some of the 800's today and I'm not as slow as previously thought.

Low Expectations

Keeping low expectations has gotten me far lately. It kept me going during pregnancy and made labor and delivery easier. Just think about it, if you keep your expectations low then it's hard to get disappointed, especially when you don't know what you are getting yourself into. It has also worked well with this whole parenting thing. More often than not, I have no idea how over my head I really am, so by expecting close to the worst I'm often pleasantly surprised.

I haven't been as successful in implementing this same mindset with running, I think being competitive messes it up for me. Today I was slow getting out there, one thing or another came up as is now the norm for me. When I finally arrived on the treadmill (yes, it's muggy and disgusting again today and I'm not going to make it more misreable than needs to be) I expected to be slow and deal with sore knees again. As I started I realized that things weren't feeling that terrible and ever so slowly kept amping up the pace. Before I knew it I had hit a pre-pregnancy pace and finished all 3 miles without stopping. I realize this isn't much to brag about but it's a milestone that has been difficult to obtain since popping out the kid.

I wish I knew what was the magic formula that made today so much better than yesterday, I had come close to blowing off running for the elliptical. Maybe it's that "F-it" attitude, who knows, or the challenge to beat a certain somebody on the track.

Miles run today: 3

Indoors already

It didn't take long. When I was banished into the gym this winter, I was so envious of those who were running on the road. I remember leaving work and glaring at runners out on the blvd, promising that I would never needlessly run on the treadmill again. Where did I find myself this morning? That's right, on the treadmill. The kid did not cooperate last night and as a result no one in our house slept longer than 90 minute increments, meaning there was no way I was going to make it to The Edge. It was around 10am when Joe and I finally conceded defeat and got out of bed, it was also already into the 80's and humid out. Realizing that I would feel better after leaving the kid and forgetting the hell he had reigned on us for the last 12 hours I remembered the old gym membership we had been neglecting since his birth. Suddenly the treadmill with it's a/c never seemed more appealing (not to mention the kid isn't on the membership yet meaning I would be gaurenteed some alone time). The next 45 minutes were spent sweating on a machine with music blaring through my headphones running in place. At times I caught myself closing my eyes and am not sure it was due to exhaustion or just relishing the moments alone. My body continues to reject the idea of returning to running but we are working that out. And to those getting concerned about the tone I am using to refer to the kid and his terrible nighttime antics, please relax, after this run I was met at the gym by a father and a happy baby. We may have been beaten last night but hope remains eternal.

Miles run today: 3

What was that about accepting reality?

So it wasn't the glorious return I had in my head but I went back to track tonight. The plan had been to go for 6am, but the kid was up at 4am rather than 5am and there was no way I was starting my day at 4am. Getting ready tonight I realized rather quickly that my hormones are still out of whack when I was having a melt down about what to wear. It was a modified workout at a pace that I don't even want to think about but I finished it. What it comes down to is that I've learned that running alone sucks, so if I can run with the club during 1 workout and on Saturday mornings then that leaves only 1 run a week that will be lonely. I feel like I can manage one lonely run a week. It's also becoming apparent that just as those first 2 hellish nights at home with the kid are a fuzzy distant memory so will this returning to running period. I'm holding on to the hope that a few months out, I'll be running and finishing entire workouts and no longer complaining about it. OK, we can be honest, I'll always be a complainer, but at least I'll be a bit better with the whole running thing.

Miles run today: too exhausted to count.

Accepting reality

So after my downer of a run earlier this week, I can't say I was looking forward to getting back out there. This morning I ran out of excuses and the kid cooperated so that both Joe and I were able to run (separately of course). My first few steps were taken tenderly and I almost turned back before even hitting the main road. I had a different play list going today and got lost in a song before I was able to make the decision to turn back. Since running 3 miles straight is an exercise in futility and just causing me to get annoyed I decided to run to the lights. There are 3 stop lights on my route (really 4 but I'm only counting 3), I figured if I could make it to each light I would reward myself with 90 seconds of guilt free walking. Overall a successful strategy, I finished my run faster than earlier this week and in a better mood. I hope this is a temporary solution but for now I finished my run smiling (not really but I'm pleased that I did it and it's done).

Miles run today: 3

When?

I know this is going to take time. I know that I'm already ahead of schedule but please it's old already. I can't run 3 miles without stopping. I think it's a combination of loosing my previous level of fitness, the heat and humidity and having to run alone.

To be honest I'm a bit surprised that this feels as hard as it does. Granted it has been a long time since my last run, I walked and swam right up until the day before labor. I thought I had stayed in alright shape. On the hills especially it feels like I've lost muscle in my legs. All I can do for this is to stay with it and hope that over time things come back. I'm a little nervous for Falmouth in a few weeks, if I can't run 3 how am I going to be able to do 7?

As for the heat I can't do anything but acknowledge the role it's playing in my return to running. I know if I was coming back in more ideal weather conditions it would be a bit easier but I'm not sure I would appreciate it. That said I'm not waiting till October to run again, nor am I going to a treadmill that would be in the A/C, so I'll quit my b*tching.

Running alone sucks. Joe has to stay with the kid and I'm at the mercy of the kid so I can't even plan to meet other people (not that I know anyone who runs this slow). A few more months and we'll be able to get a jogger and bring the kid with us but for now it's miserable. I always found running with others helpful, it would get me out the door and keep me going. The only companion I can thing of bringing along is my trusty 10 minute mile dog, Mia.

All that aside I did get out there, and I know that at some point this will be a distant memory and I'll be running like I always did.

Miles run today: 3

What rain?

There once was a day when rain would be enough to stop me from running. The rule has always been if I can hear it from my bed then I'm not running in it. This morning I couldn't hear it from my bed but I heard it in the bathroom and when I went to leave it was pouring. Here's the problem though, for me to run everything has to be just so. Baby needs to have eaten a large meal, Joe has to be home, I have to be awake. There are no guarantees that all 3 will happen at the same time more than once a day so I can't throw away the opportunity. Rain wasn't going to stop me this morning. I'm still recovering and learning to run again so there was nothing special about today's run. I could still feel the after effects of my run earlier this week and quickly realized I wasn't going to be ready for the Little Compton Road Race tomorrow. The best part other than time alone, completely alone, was coming home and seeing that both baby and husband were sleeping; giving me time to shower and enjoy my coffee with nothing but my thoughts.

Miles run today 3

107 days

March 10, 2011. That was my last documented run, until today that is. I couldn't wait any longer. My coping skills were quickly dwindling, I was starting to loose it. Forgetting who I am outside of this new parenting thing. I laced up the old running shoes and pulled out my i-pod. Baby was fed and off I went. Fully expected this to feel worse than terrible, but was quickly surprised. My body hadn't forgotten what this was about. If felt so good to have the breeze in my face, sun on my shoulders and pavement beneath my feet. Instantly I was lost in the run. No thoughts running through my head, no worries about the next feeding or diaper change. No worries about who was visiting next. I hate to admit it but I had a feeling of sadness when I saw my house in the distance, it was over too quickly. It was only 2 miles but it was just what I needed and where I needed to begin. What I have to remember is that it will not be 107 days till my next run.

Miles run today: 2.2