No more self doubt

I listened to your suggestions and rather than try to run my workouts slower, I'm aiming for a faster goal time of 1:55.  **G.U.L.P.**  So today was a 5 mile tempo at an 8:35 pace.  This whole idea of sticking with structured running workouts doesn't go naturally for me, I really have never been a fan of much more than just going for a run.   That said, the triathlons have sparked a competitive fire in me so I'm sticking with it in hopes of continued improvement in my overall finish times.  Like always I went out way too fast.  My legs were sore and I was dodging cracked side walks, parked cars, delivery men and construction so wasn't focused and ended up with an 8:14.  SLOW DOWN!  2nd mile was no better an 8:12 and this is when I turned on myself. I knew that I couldn't keep that pace up and also started to feel the effects of going out too fast.  Now I'm wishing that the kid could switch places and push me for a while so I can catch my breath.  At the end of the 3rd mile my Garmin informs me that it was an 8:52.  I'm pissed.  I seriously think about walking and forgetting about the whole thing.  What's the point?  Then I get slowed down when the kid  ejects the cheerio container followed by more construction related weaving.  4th mile was 8:54 and I'm disgusted, can't believe I've wasted my own time.  Ready to walk but the kid wants out of the stroller so I'm solely focused on making it to the playground before a level 5 melt down.  Last mile ends up being an 8:45 and just when I'm about to launch the jogging stroller over the fence in a fit of frustration (the kid was already out and running towards the slide),I see that my average ended up being an 8:35.  Right on the money.  Hmmmm...what could I have done if I remained more focused during miles 3 and 4 rather than just giving up? It did make me feel better when I ran into Fully at the end of her monster 17 miler and she had the same problem with the mind games.  The self doubt is almost as frustrating as dealing with shin splints or some other ache or pain that you perseverate on.  I need to get over it and just keep nailing these workouts.  

Ran 5 miles today.