Sunday, April 8, 2012

Finding time

So to start out on a positive note, I'm still alive after my monster training weekend. Yup, I got all scheduled workouts in and actually feel pretty good about how they all went. The bike is going back to the shop, as my new strap-on water cage sucks. Todays nutrition went better than yesterdays and will continue to be adjusted as the mileage increases. Also the finishing touch of my monster weekend was a 3 mile run after my bike this morning and I finished it with the kid in the stroller. I might actually continue to bring him along for my runs post bike as he helps to mimic the misery that will accompany the run on race day. And I'm smiling now, indicating that I really don't feel that bad so that must mean that things are going well!

All of that said today was the first day I really wrestled with the guilt of taking all of this time for my training. Joe's amazing, he never ever complains or makes me feel guilty about going of on these workouts but internally the guilt is still there. Yesterday it was no problem, I started working out before either of them were awake and they joined me for part of the run. Today was another story. The kid is sprouting some new chompers and a bit edgier than normal; he got us both up a little after 5 this morning and some times he's a handful. So I felt bad. I felt bad when I left for my ride, felt worse when I came home during the middle and took a breather and felt terrible when I heard them while I finished up on the trainer. There is a part of me that questions why I'm doing this. I'm not going to win and lets be honest I'm slow. But I've really enjoyed it so far, and it makes me happy. I also like to think that somehow all of this will help set a good example for the kid. So now what? All I can do is acknowledge that the guilt is there and it's normal. I will likely feel guilty about one thing or another for the rest of my Mom life. This guilt is the reason that the kid ended up with me on the run, it gave Joe some time to take his bike out and take a breather. And in the end it worked well, he was laughing in the stroller during the run and konked out at the end (that nap can be very evasive!). Showered, re-hydrated and dressed in jeans sitting in a living room that has been strewn with toys, the guilt has retreated and I feel good about what we've accomplished.

Biked 30 miles and ran 3

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