Save the Bay Swim

There are times you register for races and your pulse goes up and you have that "oh shit" moment after hitting submit during registration. I can recall all of the times this has happened: CVS 5k, my first race ever Newport marathon, 1st marathon Crabman Tri, 1st tri NYC marathon, it's NYC! Providence 70.3, 1st half ironman Run 4 Kerri, 1st race post baby It's not every race or event but when it happens it bring the excitement back to training and competing. It's easy to fall in a rut and forget how fun this can be. So in my sleep deprived delirium I decided to register for an event that has been on my bucket list for a number of years. The Save the Bay swim, 1.7 miles from Newport to Jamestown. Open water across the Bay, even thinking about it I get the jeebies. Open water swims stress me out and push me to the edge of my comfort zone. There is a lot that can go wrong: drowning, sharks, big fish with biting teeth, jelly fish, rogue waves, sea monsters...I could keep going but will stop before I have a full on panic attack. So why? Why not, you only live once and this is the year that I'll swim from Newport to Jamestown and will forever brag about it. I'll swim with friends and come out of the water to my cheering husband and 2 kids. Yipes, 2 kids! Even a month in I'm having a hard time realizing this is our new reality. Haven't quite figured out a training plan yet, it would be helpful if our newest family member would sleep a bit more but we'll get there. In the meantime I did escape this morning for another run. Things are slowly coming back and feeling less wonky, the key to this return to running will be patience and listening to my body. Good thing I have this swim to train for :) Ran 4.6 miles today

Fresh Air and good friends

It was a rough night, the kind of nights that life-with-infant war stories are made of. Mind you we are 3 weeks in, so in addition to little sleep last night there is the cumulative effect and it's starting to take a toll. The high is waning and the under eye bags appear to be semi-permanent. Needless to say this morning was just as ugly. The infant was STILL awake, the toddler was ready to party and Joe and I wanted to die. Joe took the toddler to the market and I sulked in front of a cup of coffee when my phone started to buzz. Were we interested in a playdate? Not really, clearly I wasn't fit for interacting with other humans given my mood. Then my friend dropped the bomb, let her know as she was planning on going for a run. Wait! A run? Outdoors? Solo? She's also living the dream with an infant and a toddler. Well that changed my outlook. Joe came home and I was flying around the house. We were headed out, him for a game of 4 on 2 with 2 toddlers and 2 infants vs. 2 Dad's and me for a real run. Outside, with my garmin and old worn out sneaks. And what a run it was. Forget that our pace was so slow I'm not publishing it here. Forget that my pelvis and hips felt like jello or that I needed to walk twice. We were outside and alone. It was a taste of old life and just what I needed. Recently I read a blog about surviving the first 3 months with a baby and advice from different bloggers. My 2 cents is you need good friends. Really good friends. Friends like ours. Friends who continue to show up with food, wine, coffee, and cookies. Friends who turn a blind eye to the mess in my house or the fact that I've lived in the same pair of sweats for weeks. Friends who keep assuring us that it's ok and we are doing great. Friends who don't care when I roll up to their office at noon with both kids and keep us entertained for 90 minutes even though it's clear they have work to do. Friends who meet me at coffee shops and keep my toddler relatively quiet while I struggle with nursing or a diaper change. Friends who listen without judging when I'm stressed and feel like this was all a bad idea. Friends who come at dinner time and hold a fussy newborn while we both get a chance to shovel hot food into our mouths. Friends who get me outside for a run when it's 30 degrees and I've slept less than 4 hours. Most of them don't read this, but I'm grateful for all of you. Thanks. Ran 4.6 miles today

back to the mat

My run last week was a little much. Not sure if it was the run, labor and delivery recovery or sleep deprivation but it took several days for me to get over it. Additional problem might be my shoes that are getting close to the 1 year mark and have holes in them. Don't judge, what was the point of replacing them mid pregnancy when I would have just squished the sh*t out of them?? Needless to say I'm in no rush for another run, maybe later this week but not til I have new shoes. There was even talk of a May half marathon at breakfast...likely a lofty goal but one can dream. So I headed back to the yoga studio this morning. With my first pregnancy I was a pre-natal yoga freak but this time around I had a hard time finding a class that matched my schedule so it had been a while. For my local readers, I highly recommend Alison's class on Saturday morning's at Shri Studio in Pawtucket. Not only is it physically strenuous but emotionally fulfilling...not to mention filled with great music. Plenty of space for breath and stillness. It took 1 downward dog for me to instantly realize how much strength I've lost over the last several months. There was a moment of being slightly bummed and then I remembered why I took time off...the 2 week old baby at home....really time to get over myself and just be in the moment. As quick as those negative thoughts entered, I breathed through them and was able to clear my mind and just move. The flow came back with little effort and old muscles that have been in hiding started to stir. Things are definitely still loose and making their way back to a new state of normal. There were lots of modifications but it felt good. Today was the first day that both Joe and I were able to get in workouts, something we celebrated with a high five at lunch. It's these small steps towards normalcy that are keeping us sane in the midst of sleepless nights and early mornings. We aren't in the swing of things yet but moving in that direction. Completed 90 minutes of yoga today

She's here!

Baby girl arrived last Saturday and we are all healthy and happy. After a long week at home I decided for better or worse today was the day I would run again. The midwife discharged me with no restrictions, maybe not the smartest call on her part, and I've been feeling really good. Recovery this time has been worlds different than with my son. Physically and emotionally I'm in a better place. Going from 1 to 2 kids has been easier than 0 to 1, at least for us it has been. I was a little torn about going to the gym 8 days out, but again have been feeling good, why not try it. There was some definitive guilt when I walked out the front door and left Joe to fend for himself. Irrational mom thoughts about how I needed to be there even though everything was timed to match feeding and nap schedules. Then if I'm going to leave shouldn't I be productive and go to the market or run some important errand? I turned off the brain and headed for the gym. My workout was nothing special, 30 minutes on the treadmill. 1 mile run, 2 mins walk, 1 mile run, 2 mins walk and 5 mins of running while increasing the speed every 30 seconds. Things didn't feel great, but they could have certainly felt worse. It's been a long time since my last run and my joints reminded me of this. Everything is looser than I remember it feeling. But you know what, it's done. My first run post delivery is over. My first run as a Mom of 2 is in the books. It still blows my mind that we have 2 kids, seems like not long ago we were 2 love struck 18 year olds at summer camp. Here's to a new chapter filled with adventures, trials, successes, challenges and laughter. Ran 2.6 miles today

Last workout?

As previously stated, I'm over this. Ready to be done, pop this kid out already. Unfortunately, I have no say in when this is going to happen and have spent the last week dealing with false starts. I've stopped speaking to family and have snapped at most friends. My husband and son are seeking alternative housing until this clears. I also stopped working out this week. 2 fold reasoning here, give me a minute. My swimming buddy took off to FLA and I'm a great morning workout buddy but it's a hell of a lot harder to get up at 5:30 and go at it solo. That and most nights I was up trying to decide if I was actually in labor or not. I'm annoyed, this isn't my first rodeo...I should know when it's go time. I don't think these false starts happened with my son and I'm not talking about mild discomfort. I'm talking about real.deal.holy.shit.I.forgot.how.much.this.hurts.don't.touch.me.it's.all.your.fault kind of pain. Yeah, it's been a fun week. Finally this morning I had enough, no more excuses. Rather than stop making plans and waiting for baby I've started to fill my schedule with activities. I've tried the no plan bit with no success so now I'm booking out. Searched out a swim friend and set the alarm for 5:30. Off I went, wondering the whole time what it would be like if my water broke in the pool. No go. I type this now from my kitchen where I'm pacing with what I can only believe are more fake out pains. I really don't want to go to the gym tomorrow, so how about you make an appearance baby? Swam for 1 hour

Veggie all the way

Time to address the questions I've been getting about being a veg-head. 1. Are you a vegan? Nope, I am a sucker for goldfish and can't break up with them. That and although the majority of my meals are dairy free, I do eat cheese from time to time. It's rare but fondue on New Year's Eve, yep and I don't regret it. I do eat a lot of non dairy cheese, I'm a fan of Daiya for cheese and tofutti for cream cheese or sour cream. At this point almost all my baking is vegan and I've figured out how to make close to all reciepes vegan. This is a HUGE help with the kid who loves to cook and loves even more to lick the bowl. By eliminating eggs from my baking I've yet to tell him no when he's wanted to lick the bowl or spoon. 2. Do Joe or the kid eat meat? Joe is his own person and makes his own decisions. He eats meat occasionally, never at home mostly when he's out with work. The kid eats what we eat so he eats very little meat, again none at home. When he's had it out, he (like most toddlers) isn't a huge fan. His doc knows that we don't eat meat and hasn't raised any concerns about it. The kid does do more dairy than I do, we have had to limit it somewhat due to some digestive issues. Sometimes I feel bad, like when he thinks that tofu is cheese, but he can hate me later. 3. But you're pregnant?!? And? I've not changed a thing regarding my diet with this pregnancy and would be willing to venture that it's been a healthier experience. The first time around I was up 60-65lbs, this time I'm up 36-38 so far. I don't feel bad when I'm stuffing my face with fruits and veggies, yes I'll have seconds. No I haven't had a heart to heart with my OB about how I eat but she hasn't asked and I'm healthy with lab values all within normal limits. 4. What do you eat? Most anything, I'll try anything once. The key for me has been to focus on eating a variety of foods, veggies, fruits, nuts, beans, lentils, grains. I try to make sure that every week has different food sources. I don't stress about if I'm getting enough protein, do some research and you'll see that we need less than you think. I also don't stress about different vitamins and minerals, again if you do the research you will see that with a strong diet that includes much variety you are fine. I'm not a nutritionist, but both Joe and I have met with one as we've made these changes to make sure that all bases are covered. And we've also discussed with the nutritionist what the kid needs and how to best meet those needs. 5. Why? All I have to say is do some research on factory farming. Not just what happens in meat and dairy production but all large farming initiatives. It's gross, not natural, and not safe. I try to eat local, we belong to a CSA, are regulars at our farmer's market. I try to buy in season. I try to buy whole foods and grains, rather than processed products. Again, not perfect but I make an effort every day to be mindful and aware of what my family is eating and where it came from. 1 hour of Fitness in The Park....still no labor :(

I give, you win.

I'm giving up the fight. I will accept the following: 1. I will be pregnant until March, hell maybe April. 2. I will never sleep more than 3 hours a night or 4 hours in a 24 hour period. 3. The 35lb weight gain recommendation is total BS. 4. The construction paper traffic lights hung on my kitchen walls are permanent decorations. Yes, it's bad. This is what not sleeping does to you. Although It's much more enjoyable to just accept it. Rather than tossing and turning, I've kept myself entertained with Netflix, cleaning and am now blogging with the pleasant aroma of pumpkin muffins baking away in my oven. The gym opens in T-35 mins so I'm headed there next. Yesterday I hit up the pool for a morning swim. I'm having an issue obtaining new contacts so can't see the clock so am unsure where my 50's landed for time, but at this point does it really matter? I had been struggling with some pain in my left shoulder that I was quietly concerned about but that seems to have resolved itself. I have to be honest, the idea of an injury sidelining my main source of workout and socialization was totally bumming me out. This happened last time, I'm thinking it's a result of overuse and poor form. So that said I'm not swimming back to back days and trying to be mindful of what my arms are doing when I'm in the water. We also hit up Fitness in the Park yesterday and although I had hoped to induce labor with some mountain climbers, I only succeeded in wearing out any muscle not associated with swimming. The bigger issue there is that I'm running out of clothing options, Joe's shirts aren't cutting it. Time to have this baby, quit working out, or find a husband who wears a XXL. Today I'm going to hit the elliptical and see if that gets anything moving and shaking. You'd think these workouts would help to combat this insomnia but no luck there. I keep threatening to try for a run but I'm thinking the size of my rack combined with poor bladder control is a recipe for disaster. Also, please pray that the kid's fever and belly ache last night were passing sxs last night and not a sign of what is to come on my weekend off!